Sunday, 24 December 2017
No matter how many times I say, “that is it. I’m going to be more selfish, treat people as they treat me…” it doesn’t work. I can’t do it.
I have fought my entire life to NOT confirm to the “I’m alright Jack” society. I am proud, although exhausted, to have brought the boys up to think critically about the world, to not be afraid to question things and to stand up for their own beliefs. Swimming against the tide is shattering and demoralising at times. It is easy to conform.
There is a consequence to living life with humility, humanity, love, hope and decency… you will be judged, ridiculed and will, without doubt, get hurt, usually by cold hearted, selfish and manipulative people. BUT each encounter with that type of person, makes you stronger and more resilient. A survivor.
I am a fighter and which, at time I am exhausted, I will never give up hope for a better world for everyone. I want to eradicate poverty, inhumanity and inequality. Now I am proud to be totally aligned with a man, Jeremy Corbyn who advocates the fundamental principles of my life. For the first time, it feels good to be a misfit!!
Christmas is a weird time of year for me. I let the boys decide how we celebrate it. Theychose no Christmas lunch, pyjamas, family games and chilling. Well, they never did buy into the whole falsehoods of a commercial Christmas. As a Mum, you do feel guilty for not providing the “traditions” but us Mum’s are good at feeling guilty when there really is no need. People will judge anyone who does not follow the “norm”. Anyone who knows us, knows we are far from “normal”, although my son has always maintained we are the “normal” ones.
Whatever you decide to do, have a safe and spectacular Christmas. I’m off to the pub shortly to eat and play pool with the boys. To simply enjoy their company.
Let hope, equality and humanity spread quickly. 2018 is life changing…for everyone.
I intend to start my PhD and be proactive in making a change to help all our children. It is my small part to play. Imagine what we could achieve if each and everyone of us made one slight change for this world.
Tuesday, 12 December 2017
The biggest lesson I learned from dealing with bullies and narcissists, was to ensure the boys could always talk about their feelings and tell me if they had any worries, including if I was doing something wrong that was distressing them. I consciously put a full support mechanism in place without them even knowing it. As soon as they could talk, I openly asked them daily how they were feeling, had they any worries, had they had any problems if they were not with me. It became a habit they fell into and part of our automatic routine.
The sweetest thing I ever experienced was Wes coming home from school when Lucas was about two or three years old and Lucas asking Wes if he had any problems today? Did he want to talk about them? So cute but proved the technique was really working. Honestly, my heart almost burst with pride.
Nowadays, we all open and honest with each other… brutal at times! It is something outsiders rarely understand but it works for us and I know the boys will not bottle anything up or suffer in silence like I did. Moreover, they will take this skill onto the next generations of our family. The important lesson for all of us is to watch the words we use with our children. It may seem funny to pick them up if they dropped 1% in a Maths test but to them it could be the difference between self confidence or self-deprecation. These comments have a greater impact than you think.
I am not in line for a parent of the year award but I know the boys are happy! What’s more I don’t care if people fail to understand my parent techniques. It's always interesting that the most criticism comes from those who have not had children and those whose children have grown up with little integrity.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? Yes, I did it. I passed with Distinction. It was, without doubt, the hardest project I have ever embarked upon, but I am so proud of myself and the sense of achievement is immense.
I have several projects on the go but focusing on editing existing work to get it into publishing. Watch this space… now I am back again.
What a pain in the backside!! It has raised its ugly head again! I am struggling to get it under control but, by goodness, I will. I have too much to do to let this monster in.
It is almost Christmas again. I am looking forward to spending time with my precious family.
I started this blog to promote my writing and motivate people who, like me, had their livesIt is time for a revamp for 2018. Lucas has come up with an amazing title and we will be putting it in place for January. You will be able to access the new blog at www.pamcharles.com and select blog. 2018 is full of positivity and lots of exciting new projects.
Have a lovely Christmas and kick ass out of 2018