Moving on…cutting out the noise

After the horrors of this past week and picking myself back up AGAIN, I have spent five hours this morning doing research and submissions. It's not even eleven clock but I love early mornings. It is so peaceful.

I admit I have had thoughts of giving up this week – 'why bother?' Well, why should I? Why should my boys suffer because of other peoples' lies, bullying and abuse? So, we have had a 'conscious uncoupling', which is the only way we can move forward and not keep going through this hellish rollercoaster. You can't change other peoples' behavior but you can stop it affecting you.

I am more than happy to admit I am perfectly imperfect. Every life is a work in progress – it sounds corny but it is true. I desperately want to succeed in life so I can give the boys the lives they deserve. I don't want to be on the scrap heap. I have overcome so many obstacles and have more life to look forward to. You're either with me or not. If you're not with me…PLEASE leave now.

EU REFERENDUM

Signing my postal vote, actually brought great relief. I love politics but this campaign has been dirty, disgraceful and incredibly arrogant. I'm embarrassed how us Brits must be coming across to our EU friends. Believe me, these people do not speak for me. The EU is not perfect but I love being a part of a multi-cultural, fair and humane Europe.

PhD 

I received an email this week, from the funding council, confirming my research is well within their funding remit. BUT – and there's always a BUT – there are a number of obstacles I have to work through – STORY OF MY LIFE!

If anyone has any useful advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

STREETWISE

I've submitted this work now…fingers crossed.

This is the outline of the script:

Logline:         In a dark world of unimaginable pain and tragedy, angels and heroes emerge as shining beacons of hope. All is not lost.

Genre:           Drama – North of England, 2015.

Outline

Life's path can change at the blink of an eye or the detonation of a bomb. In Leeds, Rob Kennedy should have been planning a wedding, not a funeral. Consumed with guilt and grief, suicide seems his only option to end the perpetual nightmare. A single of act of kindness saves him from himself.

In Birmingham, Georgina Harding escapes the pedophile ring, after being imprisoned by her mother's new partner. At fifteen, living on the streets is a safer option.

In Manchester, Jonathan Maitland is released from prison and begins searching for his traitor of a wife, after she assisted the police to secure a conviction against him. This time he was determined to end her life.

Three lives worth saving, yet their paths are about to cross with potentially lethal consequences.

If you happen to be in film, TV – please, please HELP – not that I'm desperate like.

As you can probably imagine, my head has not been in my writing this week – I'M BACK… back taking on the world – one word at a time.

Follow your dreams

Much love 

A Blatant Lie

Sorry to all my followers but this needs to be said in my words…

I am deeply saddened and incredibly hurt that I am being accused of refusing to give my Mum a lift to the hospital to visit my dying uncle. This is A BLATANT LIE. From this lie, I have suffered vile abuse and now been excluded from my Dad's 70th birthday celebrations. I am truly heartbroken.

I am putting this on my social media sites to offer people the TRUTH – especially those who have been sucked into this lie. I have practically locked myself away to avoid confrontation and abuse, just because of a lie. I have to protect my children and I can't do that if I am ill through stress. Sadly, they seem hell bent on continuing to cause trouble. So let me be clear. I NEVER refused to help; I NEVER refused a lift. NEVER! 

Stop the lies and move on with your lives. You can be as outraged as you like about this post but you will not stop me speaking the truth and you will never take away our future happiness.

Much love
Pam

It's my birthday...

Unfortunately, people still want to play pathetic games. I say…LET THEM. Let's face it, bullying only exists if one party stays silent. That is NOT going to happen anymore.

Next week is my 48^th birthday. I don't care how old I am because I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Why? Because I was right all along and I promise you, in time, I will write a book trying to explain it all to you. For now, all you need to know is - the demons are out, chased and extinguished. This means, my birthday next week will be the best ever, celebrated with the most important people in my life. Bring on the party…

I cannot believe how quickly the school holidays have come around again. They do say, 'time flies when you're having fun.' I love the school holidays, the early mornings, no school runs and the noise and laughter in the house.

So far this week I have been really busy doing lots of jobs on my 'To Do' list. The author profile is complete and will be on my website shortly. This will, hopefully, provide information for prospective agents, publishers and production companies. I've been working on a comprehensive list of agents, publishers and production companies with up to date submission details. I need to be prepared for September so I can work on both my PhD and my writing. I know I can do both – organisation is the key and lots of coffee!

Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

Beyond the Lies

Streetwise

This week I revisited the synopsis or treatment. I am incredibly proud of all my work but this project is particularly special. It raises the issues of homelessness and austerity; but for the grace of God.

PhD

I've spent all week wading through research council papers. Remits are submitted and it's a go!

This week marks a month long period of 'A' level exams. It's so important to create the right home environment during examination time. So far my formula of good breakfasts, chilled atmosphere and lots of love and encouragement seems to have worked. A month to go then a wait until the 18^th August for the results. I am confident Wes will give his best as he does in everything he takes on and he will be on the course of his choice come September.

We have so much to look forward to…

Much love

Because of Meniere's…

I have spent the last ten years of my life fighting the disease, the system, the differing opinions of GPs, some overruling Consultants' opinions then vice versa – on top of trying to raise two boys single-handedly. Some of it is raw, some of it a blur and some of it downright painful.

I was on my knees with no one to turn to and no support. People really did not understand what I was going through and I include the GPs in that category too. My luck changed when I visited my GP surgery and saw a locum whose Mum had Meniere's. She referred me to a Specialist. It only took me three years to get a diagnosis! Once I was diagnosed, I knew life would be challenging and that I would have to adapt to cope with the change.

This diagram accurately reflects the stages I have been through.

Prior to Meniere's, I earned £30,000 a year and had a company car and expenses including private medical and pensions. I loved my job especially the clients I had. I would not have given it up but when it was taken away from me, I was truly devastated. Not only was I ill and didn't know why, I had lost our only source of income. I felt a complete, total and utter failure. It was one of the lowest points in my life. I felt worthless and on the scrap heap, before I had reached 40!

Once diagnosed, the repairs began – emotionally, mentally, if not physically. Don't get me wrong, there have been very dark days and I dare say there will be in the future. It is a living hell but I am more prepared now to cope with the dizziness, the tinnitus, the fullness feeling and the temporary hearing loss. There is no cure. Ultimately though, I have no choice but to adapt. The most amazing part of all this is, I wouldn't be the person I am today, without Meniere's.

Because of Meniere's I have

1. Been at home to influence and help the boys grow up into fine young men.
2. Gone to University and achieved a 1^st class Honours degree.
3. Written and published my first novel – Beyond the Past
4. Written the screenplay, Streetwise
5. Written the sequel to Beyond the Past – Beyond the Lies and be part way through the Nanny.
6. Been able to support Wes on his rugby league journey
7. Realised just how strong and resourceful I am.
8. Applied and been accepted to study for a PhD – Doctor of Philosophy Computing and Creative Technologies. Me?

PhD

This is a project idea I have been working on, in the background, for a number of years now, since I achieved my Undergraduate degree. 

When Wes was studying GCSE ICT, I was shocked he hated it. It is not a subject any teenager, who has a keen interest in technology and helped to html code at home, should find boring. I did some investigating. I discovered, ICT for him meant replicating a magazine in Abode fireworks. It was basically copying, pasting and adding limited special effects. Trust me, I was bored to tears.

The UK Government introduced new computing curricula into High schools but it is delivered, on the whole, using conventional methods of teaching and, in some cases, by teachers who are not qualified or trained in the subject. I got to thinking – dangerous I know! What if the subject was delivered using Cloud Computing – interlinking experts from all fields within the subject? What impact would it have on the teachers and pupils? What impact would it have on improving engagement, innovation and employability? How would the delivery impact on children from low income families and would it attract more, including more girls, to take the subject and improve the staff shortages in the industry.

I was really nervous submitting it to the University and naturally delighted when I received an unconditional offer. I want to help to create a better future for ALL young people and this will be part of my contribution. I am looking for sponsorship but, for now, I relish in knowing my peers have faith in me to deliver this research. I won't stop writing fiction but, for the next four years, this will be a hobby again.

I am nothing special but life is. I am just a Mum determined to show the boys and the world, I will not let Meniere's or labels define me. Life is AMAZING. Don't let obstacles, including people's ignorance, stop you from realising YOUR dreams.