I’m going through a period of being angry with myself. Angry
that at the age of fifteen I didn’t know what I know now. I know it sounds
ridiculous but it is how I feel. I let others talk me out of what I wanted to
do and wanted to be. If only I had been as strong back then as I am today.
I have just finished writing, editing and preparing my first
ever script for television. I am incredibly proud of the work. I realise now that, whatever I had wanted to do
back then, it would have been wrong. Not because it was the wrong choice but
because it was me. I never understood why the backing was not there. I do now
and know I couldn’t have changed anything other than not being weak and showing
the resolve I have shown in the last few years to overcome some very high
obstacles. Some lessons can only be learned the hard way.
That feeling of being unsupported follows you into
adulthood- trust me it does! I loved my husband and was with him for sixteen year.
I admit I was with him for the wrong reasons, he was my way out not my future. For years I thought there was something wrong
with ME. Actually, there was. I was listening to other people too much and not
listening to ME. It has taken me until the age of forty seven to realise what
has happened and I could have landed on the moon and it would not have made a
blind bit of difference to how I was treated by people. Haters are going to
hate! Even now when I hit a massive achievement or we celebrate the boy’s work,
there is always someone there to ‘insult’ or ‘belittle’ us. It stings but not
as much now because Wes can see it too so I am not imagining it. I simply say
to myself, ‘there it goes, dodge the knife.’
This is why I support the boys 100%. I am their mother.
There are enough haters in the world driven by jealousy, ignorance or both. If
I can’t give unequivocal support in this mean, cruel world then there is no
hope at all. I am their safety net…their bank…their taxi. BUT… not their DREAM
SNATCHER. I know lots of people say you mustn’t let children dream because it
damages expectation and confidence when they don’t achieve it. What a load of
B*******. Sorry, but it is. That is why there is little aspiration in so many
young people. I detest seeing adults knocking young people’s confidence and hope.
What’s wrong with you? Are you scared your children will be more successful
than you? Or scared your least favourite will actually surpass your favourite?
As parents, we don’t have the right to stop our children
from dreaming and believing they can achieve what we think could be or should
be impossible for them. That is how humans surpass expectations. BY TRYING.
What if all the fabulous Nobel peace prize winner’s parents had suppressed
their children? Why shouldn’t every child have a go at being the one that succeeds against all
the odds?
The only difference between children from lower income
families than wealthier families are the outlook of hope, perseverance,
opportunities and confidence to believe in themselves. Taking away hope means
they don’t persevere to reach those opportunities and that in turn lowers their
self -confidence and expectations. One misplaced comment or a barrage of
psychological abuse can kill off hope and start a negative spiral. Just ONE!!
Don’t discourage their dreams. Instead, educate them. Tell
them what they need to do to achieve their dreams. Research it if you don’t
have the answers, help them put together to achieve their
goals. They will follow it or decide it’s not for them BUT it is their choice.
Contrary to popular belief, my boys have chosen their own
paths in life. Neither have been under any pressure to pursue particular
routes. Wes was in the Huddersfield Town football academy at the age of six. I
asked the insurance brokerage I was working for at that time, if I could finish
one hour early on a Monday evening to get over to Huddersfield via the dreaded
M62. I had to fight and almost lost my job over 1 hour in spite of working
12/14 unpaid hours extra a week. The boss’ PA told me months later he objected
to MY son being picked to play football. HOW PATHETIC.
Anyway, Wes was in the academy for about nine months when he discovered rugby league. He was adamant at such a young age that he was going to be a rugby player. So we sat down and discussed what he would need to do to achieve his dreams. I told him he had 100% support providing in return he worked hard at school and did his best. Bless him, he has worked so hard. Now we are visiting universities in between training three times a week, four in August and playing. Last Friday, he came home from training absolutely buzzing. It was an incredibly tough session but in his words, ‘the tougher the better’. He loves a challenge. The tougher the session, the greater the satisfaction, the bigger the smile! THAT is what dreams are made of.
Anyway, Wes was in the academy for about nine months when he discovered rugby league. He was adamant at such a young age that he was going to be a rugby player. So we sat down and discussed what he would need to do to achieve his dreams. I told him he had 100% support providing in return he worked hard at school and did his best. Bless him, he has worked so hard. Now we are visiting universities in between training three times a week, four in August and playing. Last Friday, he came home from training absolutely buzzing. It was an incredibly tough session but in his words, ‘the tougher the better’. He loves a challenge. The tougher the session, the greater the satisfaction, the bigger the smile! THAT is what dreams are made of.
Lucas is now embarking on the same exciting journey in
cricket. It is the glint in his eye that gives it away. I’ve seen that look
before and I couldn’t be prouder.
Don’t discourage your children. Give them hope, confidence
and opportunities. We have been to hell and back, due to people being hell bent
on stopping us fulfilling our dreams. Guess what? We are still here and we
still have our dreams. We are still SMILING!
Streetwise
Next Projects
I have so many ideas and projects to work on. In the next
few weeks, I am picking up Beyond the Lies again. The first draft was written a
while ago but I didn’t like it, not all of it but some aspects of it. You see,
I wrote what I thought people would want to see BUT that is not me. So I’m
re-writing and staying true to me. I’m not afraid to reprimand myself and start
again – that comes with age I think.
Then it is definitely onto to script writing again. This, I
think will turn out to be my niche. I love it and if you love your job, you’ll
never face a hard day at work again even when you work hard!
Beyond the Past
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Personally, I love the flexibility of writing but most of all, I love the creativity.
Thank you for reading my posts. It does mean a lot. Writing
it is very therapeutic.
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